yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's never too late to be topless.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
