Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
