I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think people are normalizing furries
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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