My room smells like vodka and shame
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
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I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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