I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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