I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
