everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
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i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
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how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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