After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
