Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
