your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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