just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
