I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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