I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
