yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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