sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
