GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
