do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
