how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
