Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
