Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
