did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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