dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
