New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
