turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
two words...techno handjob
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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