Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night

  (303): View more from Colorado

  lol who won

  (727): View more from Florida

  well im in the hospital right now so u tell me

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  (727): im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night (303): lol who won (727): well im in the hospital right now so u tell me http://tfl.nu/pmtb
  Replies (15) Good night (1610) Bad night (961)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  How did that happen by accident?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.

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  (314): I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night. (1-314): How did that happen by accident? (314): I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/6uoj
  Replies (17) Good night (572) Bad night (3330)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics

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  (916): He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics http://tfl.nu/21qy
  Replies (29) Good night (3143) Bad night (3695)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it

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  (863): sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it http://tfl.nu/fu71
  Replies (43) Good night (4570) Bad night (794)
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  (518): View more from New York

  you're out of your mind

  (518): View more from New York

  you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear

  (518): View more from New York

  it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence

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  (518): you're out of your mind (518): you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear (518): it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence http://tfl.nu/wmaw
  Replies (11) Good night (840) Bad night (2245)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense

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  (217): chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense http://tfl.nu/k4pe
  Replies (11) Good night (638) Bad night (2913)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

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  (360): Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?" http://tfl.nu/c0v9
  Replies (13) Good night (9032) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.

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  (708): Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity. http://tfl.nu/m9p5
  Replies (53) Good night (1727) Bad night (7915)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.

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  (347): These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever. http://tfl.nu/3sd9
  Replies (14) Good night (3589) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine

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  (214): I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine http://tfl.nu/t8mm
  Replies (21) Good night (3635) Bad night (1844)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now

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  (816): I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now http://tfl.nu/qqu5
  Replies (16) Good night (2381) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.

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  (330): Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success. http://tfl.nu/8tcw
  Replies (2) Good night (929) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.

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  (303): Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas. http://tfl.nu/f3lh
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here

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  (914): Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here http://tfl.nu/yns8
  Replies (4) Good night (383) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?

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  (651): Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder? http://tfl.nu/8sji
  Replies (3) Good night (185) Bad night (394)

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