Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

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  (415): How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome http://tfl.nu/pei8
  Replies (45) Good night (949) Bad night (6471)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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  (602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a
  Replies (44) Good night (2093) Bad night (6105)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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  (609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm
  Replies (10) Good night (828) Bad night (4580)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes

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  (314): i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes http://tfl.nu/8fav
  Replies (17) Good night (972) Bad night (5344)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.

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  (908): So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/ff78
  Replies (31) Good night (2811) Bad night (5713)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications

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  (732): everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications http://tfl.nu/d1qr
  Replies (21) Good night (7393) Bad night (725)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.

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  (509): def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout. http://tfl.nu/bt4a
  Replies (5) Good night (4133) Bad night (1009)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.

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  (763): The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet. http://tfl.nu/fwq9
  Replies (20) Good night (6568) Bad night (1039)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.

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  (423): it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise. http://tfl.nu/943e
  Replies (25) Good night (7488) Bad night (999)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."

  (407): View more from Florida

  That's called being sensitive.

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  (407): And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now." (407): That's called being sensitive. http://tfl.nu/l8tt
  Replies (6) Good night (1937) Bad night (687)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.

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  (513): This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last. http://tfl.nu/vgx8
  Replies (8) Good night (3336) Bad night (814)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.

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  (423): He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis. http://tfl.nu/f7rk
  Replies (7) Good night (1645) Bad night (449)
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  (310): View more from California

  Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation

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  (310): Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation http://tfl.nu/nk1k
  Replies (10) Good night (458) Bad night (1032)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS

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  (724): SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS http://tfl.nu/2482
  Replies (5) Good night (761) Bad night (1002)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sooooo, no second date?

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  (860): He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store. (508): Sooooo, no second date? http://tfl.nu/ghyh
  Replies (5) Good night (270) Bad night (686)

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