I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT