Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Welp...herpes.

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  (614): Welp...herpes. http://tfl.nu/xa8l
  Replies (28) Good night (553) Bad night (6130)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass

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  (406): Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass http://tfl.nu/uf2h
  Replies (20) Good night (2154) Bad night (1279)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions

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  (330): You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions http://tfl.nu/rnwr
  Replies (7) Good night (3491) Bad night (1127)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.

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  (636): trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites. http://tfl.nu/811n
  Replies (10) Good night (4873) Bad night (713)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.

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  (512): Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka. http://tfl.nu/j6vt
  Replies (19) Good night (4396) Bad night (657)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

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  (703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr
  Replies (34) Good night (15761) Bad night (1043)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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  (773): well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it. http://tfl.nu/vp9s
  Replies (19) Good night (6009) Bad night (1053)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.

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  (202): the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine. http://tfl.nu/yvwg
  Replies (15) Good night (1129) Bad night (5345)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.

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  (908): This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/5cs7
  Replies (16) Good night (1163) Bad night (3580)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?

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  (352): Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours? http://tfl.nu/ajza
  Replies (12) Good night (2391) Bad night (707)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.

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  (208): if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that. http://tfl.nu/41po
  Replies (3) Good night (2105) Bad night (660)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.

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  (703): I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face. http://tfl.nu/cgkz
  Replies (16) Good night (635) Bad night (2747)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.

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  (828): Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state. http://tfl.nu/9dzb
  Replies (6) Good night (2632) Bad night (658)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates

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  (908): I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates http://tfl.nu/99aw
  Replies (1) Good night (880) Bad night (222)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary

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  (480): Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary http://tfl.nu/ompd
  Replies (3) Good night (250) Bad night (457)

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