JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
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I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
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had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship