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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops

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• (239): View more from Florida

  you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport

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• (849): View more from

  Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.

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