the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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