Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
