i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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