Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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