never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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