I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
