so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dicks are not precious.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
