oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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