i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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