Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
