Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Randomize