somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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