that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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