Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
is wine microwaveable?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
