Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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