I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
