yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
