Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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