Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
