I'm lost and stupid without you.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
