what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize