I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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