I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
