I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize