I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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