Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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