would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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