they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize