You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
