if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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