Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
