mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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