My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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