it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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