Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Apparently you make a good broom.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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