You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
