i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
