Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
