I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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