One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
