You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She bit a glass in half.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
