I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
